Only 7 more days!
I guess I can say that your are pretty suggestive. Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to pick you apart. I won't analyze your every move, breath and sound. Don't worry. I want you to feel safe. You're a bit low on cash, so you check out a movie to take your mind off it. "Super Size Me" blows you away. You think: "Ah hah! This is the solution to my financial struggle. I will eat snickers bars, milky ways and dominoes pizza for a month and record it with a mini disc camera that I will borrow from someone. "
I have to say: this is a great plan. I am very proud of you. I can tell that you have been bored and feeling like you need a project. Something to do that is important. A way to contribute to society. I think this is it. The world has to know how unhealthy this snack food is.
You walk around on cloud nine stuffing your face with candy bars and pizza. Wow, It's day 4 and you are amazed at how much money you have saved on t.p. and water (5 gallons per flush). No need to number 2 anymore. But hey, can I be honest? I think you might be a bit constipated. You know, when the large intestine clogs, the half digested food doesn't disappear, it putrifies. And did you know how much the intestine stretches?
Without even realizing it, you have entered the intestinal balloon contest. It used to be just adults who played in this tournament. Now kids have entered as well. It is amazing to me that you have sacrificed your body for all of us. This is something Jesus would have done. Of course, he would have been able to document some of his miracles like walking on water. As Jesus would get fatter, he would start to sink into the water more and more. And of course he'd be changing water to beer to wash down all that pizza. I bet jesus would use communion wafers as toppings on his pizza instead of pepperoni.
Please forgive me, I digress. This is all about you and your documentary. Your clothes don't fit you anymore and no one recognizes you. I think that you're watching too much t.v. Ding dong. Hey, I think that was the doorbell. You get up and let the dominoes guy in. You both are on a first name basis now, It's day 23. Instead of a tip you point the camera at him and tell him that he'll be in your movie. He gets the wrong idea and hustles out of there mumbling about his next delivery. Oh well, the lighting was all wrong anyway.
It's time for me to go. Thanks for the contribution to the human race. Keep up the hard work. Only 7 more days!
I have to say: this is a great plan. I am very proud of you. I can tell that you have been bored and feeling like you need a project. Something to do that is important. A way to contribute to society. I think this is it. The world has to know how unhealthy this snack food is.
You walk around on cloud nine stuffing your face with candy bars and pizza. Wow, It's day 4 and you are amazed at how much money you have saved on t.p. and water (5 gallons per flush). No need to number 2 anymore. But hey, can I be honest? I think you might be a bit constipated. You know, when the large intestine clogs, the half digested food doesn't disappear, it putrifies. And did you know how much the intestine stretches?
Without even realizing it, you have entered the intestinal balloon contest. It used to be just adults who played in this tournament. Now kids have entered as well. It is amazing to me that you have sacrificed your body for all of us. This is something Jesus would have done. Of course, he would have been able to document some of his miracles like walking on water. As Jesus would get fatter, he would start to sink into the water more and more. And of course he'd be changing water to beer to wash down all that pizza. I bet jesus would use communion wafers as toppings on his pizza instead of pepperoni.
Please forgive me, I digress. This is all about you and your documentary. Your clothes don't fit you anymore and no one recognizes you. I think that you're watching too much t.v. Ding dong. Hey, I think that was the doorbell. You get up and let the dominoes guy in. You both are on a first name basis now, It's day 23. Instead of a tip you point the camera at him and tell him that he'll be in your movie. He gets the wrong idea and hustles out of there mumbling about his next delivery. Oh well, the lighting was all wrong anyway.
It's time for me to go. Thanks for the contribution to the human race. Keep up the hard work. Only 7 more days!
posted by Dij at 11:03 PM
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