Sunday, November 17, 2013
I am David Gregory - Hear me roar!
Thursday, July 04, 2013
We are your friends, family, fellow citizens and fellow humans so please do not call us: "adversaries", "enemies", "targets" etc. Good people do not spy on their friends.
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Seems like I'm feeling a tad inspired by all of this fertilizer discourse and hyperbolic tales of horror spewing and bubbling up from the depths of swampy corruption. Please don't forget about all of these lovely red herrings swimming around a media sea tainted by fear, artifice and whatnot. Basically boil it all away and you are left with a complete lack of knowledge concerning what it means to be a journalist. And that lack of knowledge, ladies and gentlemen, members of the press, is now a requirement. That will be all.
art credit: alexiuss.deviantart.com
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
In the middle
Gonna turn your brown waves blue
There had just been a storm. I stood on the picnic table and watched the small swell crash against the reef. The water was brown due to the several inches of last night's rain washing soil into the ocean via the various river mouths. Despite the fact that the influence of the storm continued to wreak havoc, I decided to paddle out on my sister's 8-6 V board. There wasn't much wind and I hadn't surfed for a few days so I just went for it. I grabbed the board out of her garage and soon was making my way towards Freddy's. I prefer to paddle around the reef rather than walk up the channels. I spent 30 minutes observing the chaotic conditions up close. 'Oh well', I thought to my self. Time to paddle in. I decided to get a little more exercise by paddling down to Sunset. Every where I looked it was brown. That was some rainstorm. As I got closer to Sunset I caught a glimpse of someone surfing there. To my utter amazement, the water was clear blue and the swell was producing perfect 3 foot (Hawaiian) waves that lasted for at least 200 yards and there was one guy surfing them.
Needless to say, I surfed these perfect head high waves for the next couple hours until my arms were about to fall off. The waves kept coming and coming without let up. Every once in a while I'd exchange a couple words with the other surfer - he was an Ausie - but mostly we gave all of our attention to this sacred experience. Just as I began to paddle in, 2 more guys appeared. It was their shift. My Job was done. They looked enthralled, salivating at the empty line up and magical conditions.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Surrender your thumb
Friday, May 11, 2012
Nepotism can only take you so far
Such a small town, my girlfriend & I live in. The flash of resentment quickly fades and soon I ponder the turn in the road that we find ourselves on.
We were informed while vacationing on Oahu a few months ago. Once the initial shock wore off - a few days after our landlord's untimely phone call - I was able to realize the opportunity handed to us by our cottage's self-absorbed future occupants. What is that opportunity you ask?
Please allow me to elaborate. How many times have I sabotaged my life as a result of hanging on to indignation? Countless. The sooner I catch myself stuck in this morose, the sooner I can feel my way out of it. Bitterness rarely attracts anything except more hard feelings. Bitterness creates a barrier that most people will not cross. Its really that simple.
Of course, emotions cannot be bottled up. They must be set free. Expressed.
Today, I learned that our new home will be available at the end of April. The newlyweds are not happy about this. In their perfect little world, my girlfriend, cat and I would have been long gone. Perhaps the reality of this situation has set in for them. When you decide to use nepotism to move in to a home that is already occupied, prepare yourself to wait. It takes time to find the right home. The housing laws of California happen to agree with me. Yell at your uncle all you want. Cajole your father to yell at his brother - your uncle. Pressure your uncle to pressure us. Scream. Cry. It does not matter. We will move out when we are ready.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Newlyweds Can't Read
I'm not in the mood for being 'pressured' (see: harassment) so I'm like, "I've changed my mind. I've thought about it and concluded that: if you want assurances, than you need to give us a 60 day quit notice. That's the law."
"Uhh, my relatives are really pressuring me to get something in writing." ('relatives' equates to: newlyweds)
"Listen ****** (landlord), I have decided I am not going give you anything in writing. It's your responsibility to give us a 60 day quit notice and that's all there is to it."
"Uhh, but you said you were going to write something up. My relatives keep pressuring me."
"I didn't rent the cottage from your 'relatives'. I rented it from you. You write something up, I don't care. We are men of our word. I told you we'd get this new place and we did. I've told you that we will be out by the end of April and we will. Our word has always been good between us. Step up and tell your 'relatives' to back off and relax."
"Uhh, but it would kind of help me out if you just wrote up a little note so they will stop hassling me."
That's all between you and them. I don't care. We are men of our words except of course when you had a homeless guy (see: Sling Blade) living in the driveway for 3 months. Even though we had an agreement when we moved in that there would be no homeless people living on the property."
"Uhh, I was just trying to help. He almost died 5 times this year. I was just trying to help."
"Right, you'd leave for a month at a time while he was living in the driveway, smoking cigarettes and pot. Every time we'd leave our house we'd have to walk past his van - the sliding door was always open - trying not to breathe in the smell of stale smoke and urine."
"Uhh, I've got to go... some one is here -"
"Ok, goodbye." I hang up
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Att: Monsanto staff
We are pleased to inform you that your services will no longer be needed. Your positions have been "terminated" until further notice (forever). It has been determined that Mother Nature made everything perfect the first time and no re-dos are necessary. You will have to find other employment that does not poison the earth's citizens. There are many other professions with integrity that might interest you: farming, teaching, janitorial services, etc. Your former profession is no longer acceptable on any terms.
-The Citizens of the World.
(Please copy text then repost this and send it around the world.)