The stint as a showie left me drained. I felt powerless, unable to impact or influence. Some how it helped me feel better to just pick up garbage along the road. Initially, when I began hitch-hiking across the continent of Australia, the garbage surprised and disturbed me. Just before the carnival picked me up, I began to pick the garbage up instead of complaining about it to myself or to others. At some point I became aware that I was just feeling sorry for myself, looking for sympathy by clothing my psyche with the negligence of others. What I needed was to focus on myself and what I needed. Psychic irritation just means that I am thirsty. Thirsty for what? I realize now that I can only hope to influence and impact myself in a way that helps to better harmonize my life with the universe, the song that sings through all our hearts. I thirst for self validation, self love and gentleness. Trying to change the vibration of others does not happen directly. It only happens when I mend the faultlines within my own heart. And this happens thru self integrity, self honesty. When internal truth grows then so does the ability to channel compassion and love. At some point I relaized that it is my honor to pick up garbage. This was the beginning.