Monday, October 22, 2007

Kid Rock battles band of rogue monkeys

Last night, Kid Rock performed in front of an empty arena in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Oh yeah, it wasn't complerely empty, there were some crickets. Afterwards, Kid and his musical partners decided to get a bite to eat at a pancake joint. This is where the trouble took place. A band of monkeys followed Kid and company inside the restaurant. Some theorize that the monkeys were offended by the music and rode on top of the tour bus waiting for a chance at revenge of justice - take your pick. These clever little monkeys seemed to have a plan. First, they attacked by air. They thru wads of butter, french fries and shot spitballs thru straws. Kid Rock never stood a chance, you see, he became enraged and started to chase the tiny wiley primates all over the place, knocking over other folks tables and spilling orange juice and milk. One primatologist surmises that Kid made himself a target because he was wearing a t-shirt with his own face on it. "This kind of thing really sets monkey's off." He told us in hushed tones. The monkeys wrapped up their coup d'état with teamwork: one monkey snuck up behind Kid, got on his hands and knees, then another monkey pushed Kid over. Then, while Kid lay sprawled on the ground, another monkey spilled syrup on to his hair. The monkeys quickly scurried out the door leaving a confused and bedraggled Kid Rock behind. These monkeys are still at large. They were last seen heading North with a stack of flapjacks. Please let us know if you see them. Thanks.

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