Your own, personal, abducter

There's a term called self-fulfilling prophesy. It's kind of self explanatory. It's kind of like experimental bias, external validity and internal validity. Then there's all that new agey wish wash about how you create your own reality. Yeah, you use to buy into all that stuff. But... not anymore. And all because you wore that stupid sweater with reindeer on it. You never beleived in alien abductions before and you never would have if you hadn't put on that damn red sweater this morning. The time was 2:23 PM when the flash of light flashed, temporarily blinding you and causing a temporal lobe seizure.

So now, your laying naked on a cold smooth metal table while these insectile aliens probe various parts of your body for God knows what. They look just like the image that has become such a staple in pop culture: short, big bald head, grey skin, big black eyes, no nose and a small slit for a mouth. You cannot move and your thinking process seems to be altered. Somehow, you are able to detect and comprehend the telepathic conversation taking place among the alien scientists. That's how you learned the reason behind your abduction was because of your sweater. The alien experimenters pick subjects who are wearing seasonal sweaters.

You are paralyzed, nothing in your body is under your control, not even your breath. You watch your thoughts and judgements float above you like clouds. They seem so remote and far away. You watch the alien communication float above you with the same detatchment. To them, you are like an insect, as they follow their orders testing the basal ganglia in your stomach wall for degeneration. Actually, they see you as a robot. But as you listen longer to what they think, you discern patterns which lead you to conclude that they, in fact, are robots.

Your own, personal, abducters, continue to perform tests on all your organs including your heart. You gather more information. They see all humans as robots. Earth is just one of millions of planets that are part of an experiment. The alien robots don't seem to feel. They are searching for physical evidence that emotion exists. They focus on the heart and begin to converse with the neurons on an individual basis. Each neuron has its own song. Each song is like a flower. The alien robot scientists are searching for the birth place of emotion. When they find it, the expeirment is over. They will then trigger a gamma ray burst in a star that's just 8 light years away. And then its good night Irene. Yeah, that's right, time to find another planet.

So, just lay there and relax. Nothing to be embarrassed about. They're all just robots anyway. But, if you ever get our of here. For God's sake, build a kick-ass spaceship, pack it with beautiful women, water, food and some good books. And then get the hell out of the solar system. Don't worry, you won't miss anything, it's just a giant labratory prison prism asylum. Good luck.