Army recruitment of magicians

Have you hear the latest news? The army has been recruiting magicians to fight in the war against terror. Of course nothing ever goes smoothly so the jury's still out on whether or not they've been effective. The word is that many of the magicians cut the Iraqi terrorists in half with big saws. Miraculously, the enemies of freedom are unharmed by all the sawing. It actually ends up building up their confidence in Allah and motivating them to fight harder for the jihad.

At night, the black suits and capes that they wear are pretty good at keeping them invisible but during the day they stand out like a sore thumb. The army has been having countless problems with the magicians going AWOL. One moment your joking about pulling rabbits out of hats with your favorite illusionist and then - PUFF - he disappears. "Where'd he go?" says Private Milroy.

There are success stories to go along with the head aches though. Some of the magicians have been quite effective at making the terrorist suicide bombers turn into terrorist fart bombers. You should see the embarrassed look on the terrorsists' faces when instead of blowing up they cut the cheese. We're talking major, eye-watering, nauseating, overwhelming; odors that a skunk would be proud of.

Yeah, the magicians are a mixed bag. The other night, I was playing poker with this one short and stocky magician. He ended up winning the most dollar$. I hate to say it, but I think he must have been cheating or something. I hear this has been going on all over the place. So, we are on to you - magic men. Cut it out! I mean it, knock it off, we got wives and kids back in the states that are depending on these peanuts.