Saturday, June 18, 2005

I hope you like oranges

Just for kicks, let's say that you will have an extemely vivid dream tonight; which has you travel all the way to China. On a whim you will decide to stow away on a ship filled with oranges. Lucky for you, no one will see you shimmy up one of the many ropes which keep the cargo ship from floating out to sea. It dosn't hurt that you'll be wearing all black and that it will be a moonless night. Just in case you forget, you will not realize that this is a dream. Please, remember to forget, thanks. I hope you don't mind the emphasis on this but it is quite important. Your arms will start to feel tired and sore at the half way point. Don't look down! Relax and breathe. Some how, you will manage to climb the rest of the way up the thick moldy rope. Soundlessly, you will climb over the railing. Like a cat you will slink over the deck until you find the hatch. Now you will open the hatch. Hey, get a grip, you just have to turn the wheel around counterclockwise. Come on, a monkey can do this. So, after some self induced difficulty, you'll open the hatch and climb below deck. I guess the crew will not be on the ship yet or maybe they will be playing hangman, crucifixion man, eletrocution roulette or poker in the galley; who knows? Anyway, you won't see anyone as you walk around the ship's innards. At some point it will feel like you are walking thru molasses. What did you expect? This is a dream, remember? What?! didn't I tell you to forget that? OK, where was I? Oh yeah, some how you'll find the cargo hold. There will be these giant vats of oranges, effortlesslly, like a monkey, you will climb up the the external framework of a 20 foot high container. It will be filled to the brim with navel oranges. Now you'll crawl on top of these oranges, smell them, breathe them in like a winemaker, love them, thank them and then lie on your back and stare at the ceiling. Then, you'll start to wiggle, squirm and work your way down several feet from the surface. Now, you'll basically be set for the voyage. Any time that you feel thirsty or hungry, you will rip open an orange, chew, suck and swallow. Bon appetite and bon vaoyage!