Dirty Monkey

Out of the blue, I started getting calls from Skip's cell phone. I have to tell you, it was pretty strange, grunting and screaming that sounded just like a monkey. These bizarre phone calls began taking place about one month ago. They occurred once in a while mostly during the day. One of them took place at 3:33 AM and was so disturbing that I began to turn my phone off before going to sleep. My calls of inquirey went unanswered. But, it still should not have been a shock when I saw Skip the other day with his new friend: Dirt. I am like: "Skip, you gotta be kidding me, not only did you find a monkey, but then you go ahead and name him Dirt?" Skip just shows me his toothy grin and pauses long enough to take a long inhale off his funny ciggarette.

"Yeah, isn't he cute? In fact I am now calling him Dirty."

So, there I am, down by the beach, having just finished a sweet sesh on my 5'11 fish, stoked and still buzzing from the natural high and suddenly find myself running in to Skip and his new pet from South America: Dirty Monkey.

"Skip, I am in a bit of shock here, isn't that kind of inhumane calling your hairy friend: Dirty Monkey?" Skip's only reply is a raspy laugh punctuated with a dry cough. That's when I notice that Dirty has been stacking rocks all along the shore. Skip smiles at my amazement but doesn't say anything. "So what kind of monkey is he?"

"He is a Cebus capucinus. He lives off bugs and fruit."

"Cool."

Suddenly, Skip whistles and yells: "Dirty! Get your ass over here!" Dirty Monkey scrambles easily over the round river rocks which line the ocean shore and is soon sitting on Skip's shoulder. Skip hands him his tobacco and a rolling paper and within seconds, little Dirt rolls him up another ciggarette.

"Wow, your set, what's next? David Letterman?"

"Nah, what do I want to waste my time on that crap? No way, I'm teaching him to dig and sweep. Before you know it, I'll be relaxing in the shade, drinking Doctor Skipper and shouting out commands to Dirty."

RADARSHERPA