Thursday, October 04, 2007


"No pennies, no bag, no receipt." Then I smile, chuckle and sometimes mention the bag island twice the size of Texas floating somewhere in the Pacific. But, of course, I still have generated trash via my water buffalo yogurt container and organic think bar wrapper. Well, we do what we can? That's one reason I enjoy the Farmer and the Cook experience so much, I can eat there without generating any garbage. But, I drive their in the black Beam with its 20 miles per gallon price tag footprint.

After a week away from the ocean due to some swollen lymph glands in the throat, I've been out the last two days. My fear of regression proved unwarranted on yesterday's session. I managed to pop up and stick nine out of ten attempts. Had some long rides and ended up paddling close to a thousand yards without getting tired. And then today. Initially a bit frustrating. These waves were more for longboards. But I persisted and finally stuck a steep foamy drop. Caught on the inside, I let a wave bring me in so I could walk back out instead of paddling against the current. Easy paddle out and then I am back outside. This time I catch a bunch and with 2 stellar waves that have enough face for me to skateboard and tap the lip all smooth like a cat.

Back in the rat house, I continue to watch the world thru the lens of the internet. What I see makes me want to turn in to Jonathan Livingston Surfer. Maybe that is what I am? Or is that what I am already? I do not know how anyone can have any hope for the future with the way things appear to be going. Maybe it just isn't as bad as it looks. Maybe, I am just feeling somewhat hopeless because I am not finding any work and my savings have dwindled to the point of uncomfortableness. I know that being a man, I am supposed to be making all kinds of dollarinos, making all kinds of deals, own all kinds of real estate, wear suits and ties, blah, blah, blah. Instead I have chosen another path. In fact, I am on no path at all. I am bushwacking thru the back country, mostly thru the desert and I am like a camel, some how finding a way to live with out the sultry water. It is almost like I am climbing a sheer rock face with no rope, no partner and no net. It is when I look down and see where I am that I get depressed. When I see that I am all alone and that there is no way for anyone to actually understand where I am. No way for anyone to get to where I am. No way for anyone to understand me. This is why ignorance is necessary for the survival of this particular species. Us humans have gone so far out on a limb that the gravity of common sense must be ignored or-

We must face the truth of our aloneness. This truth is the ultimate terror. This fear is the root of all war.
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