Thank goodness for straws

If you want to know the truth, when I said: "Turn that frown upside down." I had no idea that you'd change your life so drastically. I mean, come on, you know what I meant, right? It's a way to say: "smile, things aint so bad." Now, I actually think what you have done is very... creative... but why didn't you just start doing headstands or some other kind of inversion. I know what you said but I'm still not getting used to it... I mean it's kind of hard to make eye contact with you and... well... it's kinda disconcerting. Doesn't it hurt your head to have all the blood rushing to it like that? Thank goodness for straws, you'd really have a mess on your hands without them. I've always kind of felt like the whole world was upside down relative to my perspective. The tarot card, hanged man, illustrates this nicely, but, it is just a metaphor. What you have done is stupendous, daring and ludicrous... you have created a system using ropes and suction cups to live upside down... I am certainly impressed by your fortidude... but... uhhh... what about when you gotta go to the... uh... bathroom?