Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Spicoli returns or Being Sean Penn

Every once in a while something happens in the news which is so many standard deviations from the norm that I find myself returning to ponder its absurdity. The Sean Penn "rescue attempt"
  • Captain Sean Sinks
  • in New Orleans was so ridiculous and idiotic that I have been brainstorming possible underlying reasons ever since I read about it. So far the best I can come up with is that Mr. Penn's personality reverted back to his break thru role in the ground breaking comedy of yesteryear: "Fast Times At Ridgemont High". If you are unfamiliar with this movie, I suggest you view it. The character's name is Spicoli - he's a charicature of the burned out southern California surfer. My theory is that the shock of this Hurricane disaster triggered some kind of post traumatic stress syndrome in poor Mr. Penn. Stress that he obviously suffered while married to Madonna. Thus, in order to cope with the chaos that threatened to flood his psyche, breach the leavees of his seratonin so to speak, Spicoli took over. Basically, the PTSS caused this troubled thespian's personality to splinter into multiple personality disorder. Unidentified sources support my premise. They have reported to me privately, thru my gmail, that Sean seems to be cycling thur the various characters that he has portrayed in the vast array of films which give him such a long resume. Knowing this, Spicoli must have headed down to the gulf to catch some "killer waves dude!" This will explain why he had the photographers with him. Spicoli hoped to make Surfer magazine's October edition.When the National Guard stopped him, he must have morphed into another character. A character that would be more suited to handling that situation. As I am writing this, it is dawning on me that his multiple personality disorder adventures may have begun sooner than I first thought. Has he ever portrayed a reporter? This would smartly explain why he has been in Baghdad pretending to be a news correspondent. Hmm... I may have to "research" his films - revisit ones I have viewed and watch those that I have missed. If he keeps this up he may have the makings of his own reality show: "Where's Sean Now?". Another potential theory is something akin to "Being John Malcovitch". It just may be that a couple unsavory characters have found a portal into Sean Penn's mind. In that case, we could call the new show: "Being Sean Penn".