Invisible tug of war

The following exercise is just a suggestion. You tell me how bored you are. You complain that your life has not worked out the way you expected. All I do is listen. Anytime I offer advice. You look at me as if I just stuck my finger in your pie. This is the consequence of all your bitching and moaning. If you lay in bed for 20 years like Charlie's grandparents, don't be surprised if the muscles in your legs atrophy. The same thing has happened to your brain. There was a time in your life that you are now unable to remember. A time when your brain had the capacity to create. A time when you posessed the most valuable utility in the universe - an imagination. Those days appear to be over. Quite possibly due to an extemely powerful advertising complex that has reengineered the human brain. Some of you are immune to this virus, this meme system, this song and dance. You are the exception, the one eyed primates in the land of the blind. Congratulations. How many of you real eyes noticed? How many of you sacrificed your sight of imagination to fit more snugly within the herd?

Don't worry. This little dirt road on the information super highway has the antidote for your dis ease. You may follow my instructions. You may alter these directions. You may close your eyes at any time and click your heals 3 times - "There's no place like my brain, there's no place like my heart, there's no place like the earth..." You can always change the road you're on.

Find an old suit that fits you the way you like it. Go buy a bunch of grass seed, a 3 inch paint brush and a gallon of Elmer's glue. Paint the glue on the outside of the suit. Be quick about it. Before it dries, place the suit in the bag of grass seeds. Shake the bag. Let it dry. Might as well give it 24 hours. You got nothing better to do any way except watch TV. Take the suit out and water. Repeat the watering for a few days. Congratulations, you now have a grass suit. It is alive. You are beyond rock and roll.

So you wanted to be a performance artist? Here's the next step. Recruit a friend. They will need an old suit that fits them. They are to then get a couple newspapers. It might be nice to get ones that have different colors. Please use your discretion. Magazines might work too. Whatever. Next get some thick clear plastic tape. Tape the newspaper to the outside of the suit. OK you are doing fine. Take a break. Go for a walk or mow the lawn or something.

Lets take stock of the situation. You: super styling in your grass suit (beware of lawn mowers and weed wackers). Your friend: newspaper suit dude (stay away from open flames).

Now go to a road that has some traffic but not too much. This is what you're going to do: invisible tug of war. Got it? Yeah, one person is on one side of the road, one is on the opposite, Now your playing invisible tug of war. Get into it. Remember: acting is believing.

Feel free to email your stories or leave some comments. Have a nice day.