The mysterious jacuzzi

Wow, I am kind of shocked that you of all people would be asking me this question. You, appear to be an expert and me, I mean, come on, isn't it obvious to everyone, that I am completely ignorant when it comes to women? This particular mystery has floored me for 25 years, I mean it. I'm talking shut down here. I guess, at some point, I accepted that I have a blindspot in this area. Now, you ask me this question and I am sctatching a hole into my bald head trying to figure out an answer. Why not ask Dr. Ruth? Did she die or something? How about Dear Abby? Is she retired in some nursing home in the midwest? What about writing a letter to Playboy? Why not ask Hugh Hefner? Don't you hang out with him? Well, It's no time to panic so I will try to word my response carefully like I'm walking a tightrope between the twin towers and theres a big ole plane flying right at me! Is this pressure or what? So, Mr Trump... can I call you Donny? No, I won't put a the in front of your name. Remember you came to me, Donny. First off, women and men have always been at war. Go way back to Genesis and you'll see what I mean. The basic paradigm that was established in that particular allegory was the vastly different approach that men and women take towards sex. Women play the role of drug dealer and men play the role of drug addict. This is the core conflict which all the strife revolves around. Women hate the control they have, they just want a man to love them. The men, are driven at a core level to get into the jacuzzi, it is quite a difficult area for men to become conscious in. So, Donny, if you want to stay in control, you need to have more than one drug dealer if you know what I'm saying. I think the Mormons got it right. That's where the Moslems and the Christians are so similar - they're just trying to control the drug: sex. It's a major industry and the fire that life revolves around. So anyway, that's my advice to you and let me say: it is an honor I do not deserve to have this candid discussion with you. Congrats on the success of your show and the marriage to your new wife. Sorry I missed the wedding but there was a great swell that came in and I hadn't surfed for almost a month. What's that, oh... actually, I've never seen it but I hear good things about it. Alright sure, now you have a great honeymoon, your very welcome, good-bye.